Burg Eltz

Yesterday, I took a trip with INCAS to the castle known as Burg Eltz. INCAS is the same organization that puts on "International Tuesdays" and the occasional multicultural breakfast on Sundays. This trip cost just € 15, which covered bus transportation and a tour of the castle. The trains alone would have gone over that price, and the trip would have been far less convivial.

On the way in, I sat beside an exchange student from the Czech Republic. We talked about why we came to Germany, the differences we'd noticed, etcetera. She claimed the biggest different for her was that the Germans actually seem to follow the rules where as in Prague, if you can work around the law, you do.

Upon arrival at Burg Eltz, we all crowded around a lookout point to gawp at the castle.

I'd call it fairly gawp worthy.

After we'd taken our fill of photos, we made our descent and hung around while the trip organizer got our tickets. After taking advantage of the fee-less bathrooms, I admired the castle walls. The bricks were irregular in size and marked with parallel grooves like those on the stone of the mountain itself. I took that to mean the masons did not have to look far for their building materials. Other interesting features included a mosaic of the Madonna and child in the inner courtyard and drainpipe disguised as a dragon.

I'd like to think it's a dragon disguised as a drainpipe.

While waiting for the tour to begin, I struck up a conversation with another exchange student from Birmingham. He had the poshest manner of speaking one could ever hope to hear from a college student. What's more, he was studying history. Give him a tweed jacket with elbow patches and you'd have the perfect stereotypical English professor.

When the tour began, half of our group packed into a tiny armory. Halberds lined one wall, oriental blades and early muskets hung above them, archery equipment adorned another, and model canons and half-plate took up another. The tour guide managed to tell us photography wasn't aloud after pretty much everyone in the room had already taken a shot or two. Woops. He went on to explain that the castle was first constructed in the 12th century for the Eltz family that later split into three factions; Eltz-Kempenich of the golden lions, Eltz-Rübenach of the silver lions, and Eltz-Robendorf of the buffalo horns. Instead of building different residences, they shared the castle. Given how compact the building seemed, I'd have thought that impossible. We stuck to the silver lions.

The guide led us through the next door into the lower hall. It boasted several paintings and glass windows, both symbols of wealth. Two elaborate tapestries hung on the wall opposite the windows. One tapestry showed what happens when someone who's never seen an ostrich tries to draw one. I'd describe the result as an angry hen with legs and neck far longer than natural.

We took the spiral staircase to the next level where the main bedroom resided. It had an elevated and curtained bed so designed to keep it as warm as possible. The guide explained that in winter the fireplace didn't warm so much as lessen the cold. Honestly, I'd probably have kept the curtains closed all year round to avoid looking at the walls. A garish flowering vine pattern covered every inch of the walls and ceiling. The artist seemed to have gone for a puce color scheme.

The next few rooms had far more tasteful styles. These included a study with a wrack of unused china, the hunting rooms displaying a bear skin and several enormous moose skulls, and a bedroom specifically for the children. This last one featured numerous paintings. The bodies were painted prior to the child's birth, usually portraying them as fairly fully developed. The faces were then painted in afterwards. The juxtaposition of infant face and adult body made for some unsettling creations.

Our tour also led us to the great hall where all three families and their supporters would meet. Since it was upstairs, it was considerably smaller than the word "great" might imply. To one side, a row of miniature canons stood by as decoration. Apparently, if you wanted to buy a canon, the manufacturers would deliver a set of 10 scale models for you to examine. If you chose one and purchased it, they would build the full size version and throw in the models for free. Billy Mays would have been so proud!

After the tour ended, we took a 40 minute hike along a well shaded path. A tiny tributary of the Mosel meandered beside us, and the scraggly rocky outcroppings gave my eyes plenty to snack on. My only complaint was that it had gone from the high 70s to the low 90s and humid. By the time we returned to the bus, I was sweating and cursing myself for not having brought my own water. Then, wonder of wonders, the bus driver announced that he had water, apple juice, and beer for sale. Hallelujah! The fact that the water and apple juice were both carbonated didn't even bug me that much. They were cold and liquid. Enough said.

Sweating aside, I rather enjoyed the trip. I got to enjoy nature, history, architecture, and weapons. What more could I hope for? While I wish we could have explored the whole of the castle, I hear it's now owned entirely by House Kemenich, the golden lions. Game of Thrones has taught me better than to argue with a house like that.